I used to be a normal girl (never got mad at anybody or never been jealous) before I fell in love with this great guy named Matt (we have been together for almost a year). But recently, I keep getting upset with him over petty issues -- like when he doesn't text me back that quick or when he sleeps without saying good night to me. He ends up apologizing and doing everything he can to cheer me up, but sometimes it leads to a fight which made me feel so guilty. I have male friends and I know what they go through when their girlfriends get mad at them for apparently no reason. So I tried searching for the reasons behind these acts and tips on how to avoid being a crazy girlfriend, which might end up in him breaking up with you (and that we never really wanted to happen). Hope it works for you too!
It's insecurity, and it's something to get passed if you want to have successful relationships. It's not easy, and guys do it too, just in a different way. Consciously or subconsciously you're taking every last sentence and action and deciding if this means he's losing interest in you. This can quickly become a vicious cycle that ends with him actually losing interest in you, so be careful.
To change it, stop and think why you're angry, then decide if getting angry at him for his actions is actually solving anything. If him not saying 'Goodnight' really is a sign that he's losing interest, what do you gain by getting angry at him? You might fix a symptom, and that's it.
The fear of losing their love makes a guy jealous; while it makes a girl emotionally clingy. So, what are you afraid about? When in a relationship if one starts acting crazy it is because that person is afraid that her boyfriend no longer finds her lovable. The thoughts that go in one's mind are enough to increase the 'craziness' level to a notch higher than possible. You want an assurance that the person is still in love with you; you want to make sure that he isn't backing off now. You are afraid what will happen to you if the person leaves you.
Why? Why do we act like that? Does everyone act that way? No, not everyone acts that way. Only those who think their boyfriend deserves someone more than them! Stop making yourself small, and truly believe that you and him are best for each other; and your relation will last. Yes, breakups happen, but to constantly live in that fear is a torture. You will end up suffocating your relationship. Believe that you are the one for him.
Next, get in the habit of actually just talking about things. There is no greater person to talk about your problems in your relationship than with your partner. Realize that chances are, everything is fine, and if it's not, a fight won't solve anything. If he is feeling like there's problems in the relationship, he's more likely to tell you if you bring it up in non-confrontational way. It's hard enough talking about this stuff, believe me. It's even harder when you're worried about getting your head bitten off.
Of course you need to listen, it's something that a lot of human being forgets. One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say. Give him a chance to talk. You don't have to immediately respond to things. If he's constantly saying you are misunderstanding what he says, then reformulate what he says and repeat it back to see if you are correct. And when fights happen (and they will), don't fight dirty (don't throw insults, say hurtful things, ect).
Honestly, a good start would be just telling and being open about what you feel. Tell him you recognize you're being crazy, that you don't like it, and you want to change. You're not telling him anything he doesn't already know, and he's going to feel a lot better if he can actually talk to you about it. Give him a chance to talk, listen and don't get defensive. Save the explanations and interjections until the end. Acknowledge what you think is reasonable, explain (but don't over explain) what you don't think is reasonable. At best you solve problems before they become huge. At a minimum, you aren't blindsided by huge problems that aren't fixable. It will reduce your insecurity too.
Finally, find something apart from your boyfriend to keep you busy. Like going out with friends, reading books, writing a blog or anything that will keep you away from thinking about him. When you have an interest, then you will have less time to miss your boyfriend. You will appreciate your time with him better. As your personal appreciation will increase, your need for constant attention from him will balance out. He will appreciate and respect you more too. Besides keeping yourself a little bit mysterious will make you more interesting.
Based on my experience doing this helps me to be quite patient and less jealous because, with the time, I have become mature and very well understood that if he sometimes does not call me back, say Goodnight or forget something, it's not because he doesn't love me much or care about me. It's just that he knows I am hers and will always be with him. So he gets less easy. You just need to realise that he really loves you even if he misses out some things. We all love our boyfriend and we should always remember that they love us even more. Trusting our partner would always be a matter in our relationships.
There is still hope for us. Time will heal everything. Your brain will eventually come back to its normal function in due time. How long? Well, that's an individual thing. It could take anything from a few weeks to several months. But you don't have to feel at the mercy of this. And please chill about being emotionally sensitive, we are humans, we are emotional and sensitive. Love is being emotionally sensitive and being emotionally sensitive (not that over sensitive) means that you care. It's Normal.
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